"Fire." She said. I was in shock. I stared at her open mouthed as she casually leaned over to sip her tea. She glanced up at me as if expecting an answer, but I couldn't form the words. I couldn't comprehend what her intentions were. Fire? No way they could pull that off. She wafted a fly away from my chicken salad.
"What?" was all I could manage to say.
"Burn the place.. A gasoline spill, light a match,walk off, drive away, everything taken care of. Done." She leaned back comfortably. "How hard could it be?"
"But-but...we can't- just-BERKEL!"
"What?"
"Well I don't want to sound stupid for asking you, but well..." I paused for a bite of lettuce that I thought might take the attention off of me.
"Yes?" asked Berkel expectantly.
"Damn, the lettuce didn't work."
"Wait, what!?"
"Never mind, that isn't important. What i was going to ask you was- I just wanted to get this whole thing straight and-" I took a bite of a large piece of chicken.
"For Christ's Sake! Stop eating and spit it out already!"
Although I was surprised at her request, I quickly spat the half chewed lump of white meat into a napkin.
"No!" snapped Berkel, "Not the chicken! The question! Quick beating around your salad and ask."
A flash of embarrassment came over me as I realized my stupidity.
"Okay" I said finally, "why exactly are you planning to burn down- well which place exactly are you planning to torch?"
"I", Berkel emphasized, "am not planning anything. We are going to have some fun. TOGETHER."
"Right... FUN." I admitted a weak smile to mask my thoughts. Who the hell burns down buildings for fun! Last time I had checked, arson was not a common hobby. Rock collecting perhaps, but not arson. "And where" I asked, "are we planing to have our fun?"
"We've been talking about it this whole time." she said sharply.
"I'm a bit lost" I said, meekly trying for sympathy points, "fill me in." Berkel's face softened up.
"Alright. We are gonna burn this place down to a crisp."
"Which place?"
"This place! Here!"
"The whole town, or-"
"No!" by this time everyone was staring at her, she saw them and collected herself. She sat back down and took a long sip of tea. I twirled a piece of lettuce around on my salad fork. Not daring to attempt another bite and set Berkel off again. "By this place, I mean this restaurant."
"I lifted a finger in thought and then placed it upon my nose. I wiggled my nose about for a bit, staring out the window. Finally I made eye contact with Berkel, who had been watching me the whole time. I opened my mouth to ask a question, and then closed it again. i wanted to think my words through thoroughly. I looked back out the window and down the block. Someone was coming this way, though I couldn't tell who. I finally formulated the question: "But don't you own this place?"
"What?" was all I could manage to say.
"Burn the place.. A gasoline spill, light a match,walk off, drive away, everything taken care of. Done." She leaned back comfortably. "How hard could it be?"
"But-but...we can't- just-BERKEL!"
"What?"
"Well I don't want to sound stupid for asking you, but well..." I paused for a bite of lettuce that I thought might take the attention off of me.
"Yes?" asked Berkel expectantly.
"Damn, the lettuce didn't work."
"Wait, what!?"
"Never mind, that isn't important. What i was going to ask you was- I just wanted to get this whole thing straight and-" I took a bite of a large piece of chicken.
"For Christ's Sake! Stop eating and spit it out already!"
Although I was surprised at her request, I quickly spat the half chewed lump of white meat into a napkin.
"No!" snapped Berkel, "Not the chicken! The question! Quick beating around your salad and ask."
A flash of embarrassment came over me as I realized my stupidity.
"Okay" I said finally, "why exactly are you planning to burn down- well which place exactly are you planning to torch?"
"I", Berkel emphasized, "am not planning anything. We are going to have some fun. TOGETHER."
"Right... FUN." I admitted a weak smile to mask my thoughts. Who the hell burns down buildings for fun! Last time I had checked, arson was not a common hobby. Rock collecting perhaps, but not arson. "And where" I asked, "are we planing to have our fun?"
"We've been talking about it this whole time." she said sharply.
"I'm a bit lost" I said, meekly trying for sympathy points, "fill me in." Berkel's face softened up.
"Alright. We are gonna burn this place down to a crisp."
"Which place?"
"This place! Here!"
"The whole town, or-"
"No!" by this time everyone was staring at her, she saw them and collected herself. She sat back down and took a long sip of tea. I twirled a piece of lettuce around on my salad fork. Not daring to attempt another bite and set Berkel off again. "By this place, I mean this restaurant."
"I lifted a finger in thought and then placed it upon my nose. I wiggled my nose about for a bit, staring out the window. Finally I made eye contact with Berkel, who had been watching me the whole time. I opened my mouth to ask a question, and then closed it again. i wanted to think my words through thoroughly. I looked back out the window and down the block. Someone was coming this way, though I couldn't tell who. I finally formulated the question: "But don't you own this place?"
"No. But remember who does?"
"Not exactly." You would think that I,sitting here having this conversation with Berkel, would remember what sparked the conversation and all the information in between this point. But her sudden blatant fire escapade was not what I was expecting. " ...oh wait, you mean that Italian guy? The one you-"
"Yes! yes, yeah that one. Please-" By now the stranger was halfway to the restraunt, I pulled my eyes off the individual to look into Berkel's humiliated face.
"He took all of it Roen, everything! I was evicted, no money left in my bank accounts...I tried suing him but couldn't afford a lawyer, and he had several damn good ones. A RAPIST Roen! They accused me of being a RAPIST! ME!" A concerned waitress was looking in our direction. "-and I am NOT going to let him screw me out of everything I have. Literally and figuratively.So, I've resorted to the last thing I have."
"Which is?"
"Well-" she paused to remember, "fire!"
"De Javu, I think we just had this conver-"
"We did!" she shouted and then quieted back down again, "but then you forgot!"
"Right... but well-"
"What now?" she cut in.
"If HE owns this place, WHY do we still come here to eat?"
"To case the place! To come up with a plan!"
"You used to own it!" I protested, "You know the place like no body's business."
"Okay" Berkel admitted "but its still a really cheap place to eat." I saw the figure enter the restaurant out of the corner of my eye.
"Berkel?"
"What?"
"Are you SURE you didn't rape him?"
* * *
Now sitting there watching her pace the kitchen, stricken with panic, I started to wonder if her plan was so crazy after all.Now at Berkel's sister's apartment, I sat on the couch examining my fingernails. When the stranger came in the restaurant the little bell on the door rang. Berkel turned to look and just barley glanced at the man. But I was ripped onto my feet in half a second she flung some money on the table, and before I knew it we were out the door. She gripped my wrist white knuckled, and drug me down the street with speed and strength I had no idea she had.
"Berkel! What the hell are you doing!" I could have been yelling at a brick wall, because the response was just the same. "Berkel slow down!"
We continued the silent race all the way to Mendelev's place, until she finally released me in front of her door. I sheepishly felt my red wrist. Her hand print burned onto my skin.
"Ahhh...what was that for!"
"It was him Roen. No WAY am I going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me there. Just give him another reason to sue me again." She fumbled with her excessive collection of keys.
"For what? Your organs?"
"I wouldn't doubt it." She found the key unlocked the door and stepped in.
"Berkel! What the hell are you doing!" I could have been yelling at a brick wall, because the response was just the same. "Berkel slow down!"
We continued the silent race all the way to Mendelev's place, until she finally released me in front of her door. I sheepishly felt my red wrist. Her hand print burned onto my skin.
"Ahhh...what was that for!"
"It was him Roen. No WAY am I going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me there. Just give him another reason to sue me again." She fumbled with her excessive collection of keys.
"For what? Your organs?"
"I wouldn't doubt it." She found the key unlocked the door and stepped in.
"Yes" I decided finally. No one in their right minds would ever consider the thought of burning down a building.
"What?" asked Berkel. I looked up from my fingernails.
"What do you mean what?" I asked.
"I though you just said something."
"No," I said, trying not to stare at her with a frightened expression, "you must be hearing things." I was beginning to worry for the sanity of my friend. Perhaps I needed to be worrying about myself as well. For a moment there I was about to agree to the whole arson thing.
"No," I concluded "a crazy person never thinks they might be crazy."
"Excuse me?" Berkel looked confused.
"What?" I cried, "I didn't say anything!"
"Are you absolutely sure?" she asked.
"Yes, I am. Take a chill pill." Perhaps Berkel was just a bit jumpy from her whole situation. But burning things is never the answer to any problem.... unless faced with weeds.
"Perhaps there is another solution." I said at last. Berkel sat there ignoring me. I cleared my throat. "I said, that perhaps-"
"I'm sorry, but did you, or did you not just say something? Because it sounded like you did but you keep saying that-"
"Yes Berkel!" I shouted above her ranting, "THIS TIME, I did say something."
"Oh." she quieted up.
"I saying that there must be another solution to your predicament."
"Besides lighting the restaurant on fire?"
"Right."
Berkel paused for a long moment. Breathing in as many oxygen molecules as she could to make her brain function. Finally she spoke: "Nope, I've gone over all my options. Burning the place down pretty much seems the way to go."
"Now I'm sure she's lost it."
"What did you say?"
"I didn't say anything."
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